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GROUP THERAPY by Geoff Wheeler

In Cursillo, we place a great emphasis on winning the world for Christ through the support and encouragement derived from meeting in groups. However, being part of a group also fulfils some of our more fundamental human needs.

Firstly, groups help us to feel included, to be part of a whole, to know that others have the same ideas and objectives as ourselves. We belong, and gain satisfaction in knowing that others have this same feeling of belonging, of being bound by a common interest. At a particularly low part of my life I joined a badminton club even though I was pretty hopeless at the game. Initially I was welcomed and frequently invited to play, but once my fellow club members realised how hopeless I was, they began to exclude me. I felt a sense of isolation and rejection. It was not until I joined another group, more suited to my talents that I regained a sense of inclusion

Secondly, groups enable us to gain a sense of influence. We all need to believe that we have a voice in the world, and being in a group helps us to achieve this. Being asked to give a talk at one of Cursillo weekends means that I am trusted, I have, with God's help, some control, I have the opportunity to make a difference. Knowing that our opinion counts and that we are important to the group gives us feelings of significance and worthiness that we carry into our everyday lives.

Group membership also gives us affirmation. This is most demonstrated when we are experiencing problems in our lives. At times we need to be cared for and it is important that we know that such care is coming from others. Affirming each other helps the process of bonding together and enables a group identity to emerge where the qualities and talents of everyone are mutually recognised and re-enforced.

A fourth need that group membership provides is that of security. Our cave dwelling ancestors realised that staying together made them feel safe. Generally, we no longer band together in groups for our physical security, however we still have a need to feel emotionally secure. Being with friends in a secure group environment and sharing a common interest enables us to openly and honestly express our feelings, views and aspirations without fear of reprisal or rejection, often on issues outside the group’s primary interests.

Finally, being in a group offers us the opportunity to share parts of ourselves with others, often at a deeper level. During my counselling training I recognised that by sharing some of my deepest feelings and emotions with my fellow students, I became more self-aware. Sharings proved difficult at first, but as the group bonded I felt more at ease feeling a sense of relief in unburdening issues that were causing concern in my life. Sharing brought our group closer together turning students into friends long after our training was completed. 

When we join a group we gain access to people who can help fulfil some of our most basic needs as individuals and this is particularly true in Cursillo. Equally, we have a responsibility to ensure that we help others in the group to fulfil their needs. Being in a group is more than just being a member it is about bringing oneself and others nearer to God and to wholeness